As I was saying...

I got sidetracked by my Hawaiian vacay and my new career as a stand-in for anyone and everyone's relatives. If you take a look back, I was writing about my struggle to define the line between the perfectionism of an unpredictable, erratic and legalistic Christian and the lazy, apathetic and misguided fool who so easily succumbs to idols.

To be sure, neither of these portraits portray any hint of honesty...with themselves or with God. Both seek to mask the burdened soul, pretending to overcome (or ignore) the screams that cry for freedom.

We all find ourselves periodically tee-tottering toward one side or the other.

So where is the "narrow path" on this continuum?

The last several weeks, I have found myself in some humbling situations...but they have also been situations where I have been forced to move forward, not giving excuses for my actions or even explaining myself. That's one of the hardest things to do, is it not?... explaining yourself to people. Making sure that others know your motives even though its not even relevant, just so that a certain image is upheld. Its a ridiculous and exhausting waste of time.

The bottom line is that through these situations, I have, sometimes painfully, found that perfection only comes through the cross of Christ. I can never expect to be anything if it is not through Him.

I've realized during this time that it is His mercy that I am most desperate for. Because all good things seem to stem from it. Through His mercy, I receive His Spirit which then bears fruit within me (love, joy, peace, patience...) As the scriptures say, His mercy is new every single morning. I am nothing if I am not found there because He has, in every way, made me who I am. He says to "be holy for I am holy" because I could never be holy if He wasnt. The two are completely connected.

So Im learning to crucify the life that seeks my own vain attempt at perfection to gain the One who gives me Life.

As Francis Schaffer once said so simply, "True spirituality consists in living moment to moment by the grace of Jesus Christ".

DISCLAIMER: Philippians 3:12-16