Sometimes Life's Just Not Fair

Still struggling a little... Ok, a lot. We've lost quite a few kids recently and many are just dealing with some really rough stuff. I've watched families deal with this mess for over three years now and I still cant seem to make sense of it.

As you might imagine, it's unbelievably difficult to watch a child suffer and not know how to make it better. I keep asking the Lord, "Really, how much can one person endure?". He hasn't answered.

We havent really talked a lot recently. Kind of in a fight, I guess. Maybe Im giving Him the silent treatment. I know there's stuff to be dealt with and I know I'm probably being stubborn. I dont have the energy to wrestle with it. Im afraid of what it will bring out of me because I know what's in there. The doubts, the frustration, the emotional exhaustion of it all.

So, I have one more night at work, then Im hoping to get away for a few days to clear my head and somehow deal with this dull ache in my heart. Not sure where Im going yet. Not too far since the fiscal fast still holds the reigns on my spending (you'd be very proud to know how little moo-lah I spent this week).

Speaking of the fiscal fast, I went to McDonald's in the hospital to grab a little breakfast a few mornings ago. Apparently, they are now charging extra for OJ! I bought a breakfast MEAL and the lady charged me $1.85 extra for a small OJ. I argued with her for a while and she wouldn't budge. No lie...my $5.08 McD's breakfast was -by far- the most expensive meal I had all week. WOW.

This was quite the depressing post. Looking forward to brighter days:)