"You must not turn aside, for then you would go after futile things which can not profit or deliver because they are futile. For the Lord WILL NOT abandon His people on account of His great name because He has been pleased to make you a people for Himself"

(1 Samuel 12:21-22)

Deep in the Heart of Texas

At the Houston airport baggage claim...

While waiting (a long time) for my luggage to come around on the little "luggage carwash", I hear this over the loud speaker:

"Mr. Swanson, we have your gun in the lost luggage office. Please come and pick it up at your earliest convenience... Mr. Swanson, please pick up your gun at the lost luggage office".

It was now clear...yep, I am in Texas.

Home for the Holidays

So I made it to Houston for the holidays. I was welcomed by a great lunch at Willie's Icehouse... oh so good.

Also, I came home to find my previously mattress-less bed completely restored with added feather-down accessories. Im pretty sure this was a ploy to get me to come home more. My ultra-comfy bed plus my recent work overload/lack of sleep, contributed to the fact that I definitely slept...neh, hibernated... for 16 HOURS last night. Once I did wake up, I ate some breakfast before going back to sleep for another hour or so until Dad called and wanted to get lunch. My goodness.

Oh and yes, I have returned to my previous status as a blonde because.. well, maybe they do just have more fun? Jk.

Hoping to begin.. and finish Christmas shopping soon.

I so love Christmas time!

If you are in Htown, gimme a call. I'd love to see you!

Core Truth #3: I am an agent of Hope

I was a very nervous kid.

As a child, I remember having nightmares about robbers coming in an stealing me away from my parents. I would cling to my mom when we went shopping, terrified that I would be lost forever, only to become an orphan living in Walmart. I would get nauseous when I watched shows on t.v. that were even slightly violent or bloody (this might have something to do with the fact that I did watch Silence of the Lambs when I was 8).

I specifically remember one night as a young kid, sitting on the couch in our living room while my parents were watching E.R. The surgeon began to dive into the patient's abdomen, and a bit of blood squirted out. My stomach twirled and I thought I was going to puke. I told Mom that I didn't feel good. This not being the first time I had become queasy from watching t.v, she sighed, reassured me that it was only a t.v show, and sent me to bed.

Weird how things change. Somewhere along the road I grew up, even if the fears have never silenced completely.

I have a thing for war movies now. The Patriot, Black Hawk Down, Braveheart, Pearl Harbor, The Kingdom, etc. It's not the blood and guts that draws me. No, that's what causes me to watch them halfway hidden under a blanket. Instead, it's the passion that pulls me in. It's the fight, the struggle, the sweat and the tears. I think it paints a picture of the battle many of us face in this life. We defend our fortresses against the evil swords of the enemy, straining to press forward toward the assurance of victory.

Fighting for the wounded. Battling for the oppressed, the weary, the broken.

He has made it painstakingly clear that this is His purpose for my life. My greatest fears became His greatest purpose.

Feeling just a hint of their pain, their loss, reignites this pull that threatens to tear me in two. Its a deep ache and I mostly try to resist it, crying for mercy. I ask Him to relieve me of my duties, wanting so badly to receive orders to retreat home.. or to transfer to a non-combat position. Sometimes I don't want to be on the frontlines. That's where the risk is. That's where most of the flesh wounds occur.

Every time I ask though, the command remains.

"You are an agent of Hope. Fight for them. Cry for them. Speak truth in the midst of excruciating pain. You were made for this. I have equipped you for this task. Walk in My strength and I will bring the victory"

And, again, I must surrender to His plans, even if that means heading back out onto the battlefield...beaten and bruised... but fighting for a cause greater than myself.. greater than the confines of the world we know.

I am an agent of Hope.

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"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord" 1 Corinthians 15:58

"Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it" Colossians 4:17

Lay down, Ishmael

"I connect with Abraham and Samuel's grief, as well as their desire to remain loyal to people and courses, and not just casually toss something out the window that's not quite working. But sometimes the Lord calls us to something new, and in order to live in the new we must lay down the old. It's a tested truth that the flesh of Ishmael and the promise of Isaac just cant live together any more than Saul and David were able to do it. Sooner or later someone's throwing spears and the other' fleeing the country. It's just so much harder to live this way when the two opposing entities are warring within us. That's why it's essential to offer up our Ishmael's to the Lord, to make room for the new, the promise, the path of freedom. When responding to God's direction, the bitterness of a heartbreaking goodbye cant be compared to the sweetness of a divine hello. It is worth whatever you're still clinging to". Kelly Minter (from No Other Gods)

Such seems to be the story of my life. If you get a chance to check out this book, it's great. I strongly recommend it.

Core Truth #2: He is good.. so so so good.

" So the Lord gave Israel all the land which He had promised to give to their fathers, and they possessed it and lived in it. And the Lord gave them REST on every side, according to all that He had promised to their fathers, and no one of all their enemies stood before them; the Lord gave all their enemies into their hand. NOT ONE OF THE GOOD PROMISES WHICH THE LORD HAD MADE TO THE HOUSE OF ISRAEL FAILED; ALL CAME TO PASS" Joshua 21:43-45

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"Give thanks to the Lord for HE IS GOOD. His love endures forever" 1 Chronicles 16:34

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"The trumpeters and singers joined in unison as with one voice to give praise and thanks to the Lord. Accompanied by trumpets, cymbals and other instruments, they raised their voices in praise to the Lord and sang, 'HE IS GOOD! HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER!'". 2 Chronicles 5:13

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"TASTE and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" Psalm 34:8

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"The Lord indeed will give what is good; our land WILL yield its harvest" Psalm 85:12

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"The Lord is GOOD, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him" Nahum 1:7

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"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed- not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence- continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act for His good purpose" Philippians 2:12-13

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"Like newborn babies crave spiritual milk, so that by it you my grow up in salvation, now that you have TASTED that the Lord is GOOD" 1 Peter 2:2

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"Praise the Lord!
For it is GOOD to sing praises to our God;
For it is pleasant and praise is becoming.
The Lord BUILDS UP Jerusalem;
He GATHERS the outcasts of Israel.
He HEALS the brokenhearted
And BINDS UP their wounds.
He COUNTS the number of the stars;
He NAMES all of them.
GREAT is our Lord and ABUNDANT in strength;
His understanding is INFINITE.
The Lord SUPPORTS the afflicted;
He BRINGS DOWN the wicked to the ground.

Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving;
Sing praises to our God on the lyre,
Who COVERS the heavens with clouds,
Who PROVIDES rain for the earth,
Who MAKES grass to grow on the mountains,
He GIVES to the beast its food
And to the young ravens which cry.

He does not delight in the strength of the horse;
He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man.
The Lord favors those who fear Him,
Those who WAIT for His lovingkindess.

Psalm 147: 1-11

Core Truth #1: He is the Lord, my God

" To whom will you compare Me or count Me equal? To whom will you liken Me that we might be compared?... I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me" Isaiah 46:5, 9

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" I am the Lord and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from their bondage and I will also REDEEM you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments. Then I will take you for My people, and I will be your God; and you shall know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians. I will bring you to the land which I promised to give to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and I will give it to you for your possession; I AM THE LORD" Exodus 6:6-9

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" Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done, and Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You" Psalm 40:5

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" The Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind saying, 'Have you ever in your life commanded the morning or caused the dawn to know its place, that it might take hold of the ends of the earth, and the wicked be shaken out of it?...Have you ever entered into the springs of the sea or walked into the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of hell been revealed to you or have you seen the gates of the deep darkness? Have you understood the expanse of the earth? TELL ME IF YOU KNOW ALL THIS.

Do you know the time the mountain goats give birth? Do you observe the calving of the deer?... Do you give the horse his might? Do you clothe his neck with a mane?...Is it at your command that the eagle mounts up and makes his nest on high?
Will the faultfinder contend with the Almighty?" Job 38:12-18; 39:1, 19; 40:1

" Then Job answered the Lord and said, ' Behold I am INSIGNIFICANT; what can I reply to You? I lay my hand on my mouth. Once I have spoken and I will not answer; Even twice, and I will add nothing more...I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted, Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Hear, now, and I will speak; I WILL ASK YOU AND YOU INSTRUCT ME. I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; BUT NOW MY EYE SEES YOU; Therefore I retract and repent in dust and ashes" Job 40:3-5